Sometimes we do not see or do not need to see the problems we’re producing in our own lives. If we admit that we’re making bad decisions, then we would need to do something about them.
Following are some of the ways we avoid taking responsibility: Denial – This is when we do not even know that we’re lying to ourselves. We refuse to accept reality and frequently behave like a painful experience did not or does not exist. This defense mechanism often begins in childhood and can continue into old age. Projecting – When you accuse others of having unacceptable impulses which you’re experiencing you project the ideas onto what could be innocent men and women. People who endeavor often say what”should” be happening in the lives of others while decreasing their own participation in precisely the identical thinking or behaviours. Stress is reduced as you concentrate on what other individuals are doing rather than on your own troubles. Rationalizing – This is when you’ve been reckless in some area but, rather than accepting and adjusting this, you use excuses to justify so you are not viewed negatively. Intellectualizing – As in rationalizing, you think of a justification for something that you did but instead of being emotional about it, you just distance yourself from the problem and continue. Regressing – In times of stress, you might revert to a younger country and behave in a childish way. Repressing – If events or events are hard to deal with, you could block all memory of them. If you do not remember them, you do not need to deal with them! Exercising – This is a means of using extreme behaviors to reduce your stress. Temper tantrums in children may continue into adulthood as forms of abuse.
It’s not simple to be mature adults, particularly if we’ve been using defense mechanisms for most of our lives.
Accepting responsibility for our thoughts and actions can be facilitated by a number of things: Awareness – This can happen when things are pointed out to us by somebody who we respect. A friend, spouse or colleague who cares might say the very thing which helps us to realize what we’ve been doing. Do not worry about them. Thank them for helping!
2. Knowledge – At this time, all we know is we all know. Taking a program, joining a group or attending a course may provide us with information which will help us to understand things differently.
3. Skills – Learning approaches to manage stress and problems differently will result in different outcomes.
4. Exercise – Trying new techniques will result in expertise and positive change with time.
5. Forgiveness – One of the toughest things to do is to forgive ourselves when we realize how we’ve failed in a place. Consider how you would deal with a friend who’d done the exact same thing and apply that grace to yourself.
Change, for many people, is a frightening thing. But for people who are struggling, it may be a welcomed relief. If you really need to live a wholesome life and construct mutually-beneficial relationships, the first step would be to consider if and how protection mechanisms are interfering with the procedure.